Chandler 's Christmas Carol
by rachgreengeller
Summary: A special telling of the classic Christmas story ..Friends style... Chandler Bing doesn't feel very Christmassy , so he is shown by three spirits why he should be home instead of Tulsa. An AU version of Christmas in Tulsa
1. Chapter 1

This is a story for Mondler fans…Merry Christmas….and these characters are of course the property of BKC Productions and Warner Brothers…this story takes place at the time of TOW Christmas in Tulsa……..

Chandler packed his suitcase as he rolled it out of the bedroom It nearly broke his heart as he saw his friends and family in the living room. "Why do you have to go again?" Monica sighed as she pulled the cookies out of the oven. Joey started to grab one and then she slapped him. "I have told you honey, it is the end of the year and we have to finish these reports. If I don't do them, I am going to get fired. We have to work Christmas. I know that upsets you, but that's just the way it is."Chandler tried to explain but it was no use. Monica always loved the holidays. He tried to make her understand, that he needed this job, especially now that they were trying to have a baby.

On the couch, Phoebe was plucking her guitar and trying to write a new Christmas carol. Joey was trying to steal one of Monica's cookies. She had given him a lasagna , so he would stay out of the way. Rachel stood holding Emma as she played with her little pony. Ross looked over and smiled. It was such a beautiful sight. He wished one thing this Christmas, that him and Rachel could be a real family. After all, they had a baby together.

"Aw Chandler, don't go , you promised. You and I were going to sit up and wait for Santa Claus." Moaned Joey. Ross cleared his throat. "Joey, you are 32 years old, and there is no such thing as Santa Claus"

he announced. "Do you plan on telling this to our daughter?" yelled Rachel. "Emma is too young to understand ." Chandler knew what was coming next. Joey started to get upset. Rachel put her hand on his shoulder. "Joey, yes there is a Santa Claus. And he will bring you lots of presents, he brings them to everyone, except know it all paleontologists Rachel said as she gave Ross a dirty look. Ross looked at his daughter. "You have got to excuse your mommy Emma , she is just having some post maternity hormones. " Rachel turned to him and said. "You have to got to excuse your father Emma, he is a jackass." Ross turned to her and gave her his famous gesture.

"Now this is what the holidays is. Fighting. " said Chandler. He went to Monica and kissed her. "I'll be home in a few days." He slammed the door and got in a cab.

Chandler sat in his seat on the way to Tulsa. He had become used to the commute by now, It's just that this time , he was feeling a little worse than he usually did. As a result , he chose to drown his sorrows on the flight. He started to feel something. The in flight movie was Scrooged. By the time he got to his hotel, he was feeling no pain.

Giggling , he said. "Humbug. You know I never really did like Christmas anyway." He sat down in the chair and then turned on the television. The Baywatch Christmas special was on.

"Oh good, Yasmine is wearing a new swimsuit." He said as he took another swig. There was a noise in the hall. Chandler ran to the door. There was no one there. When he came back in the room, he turned around to a familiar face.

"Geller what the hell are you doing here?" he said as he noticed Ross standing in his hotel room. "You are interrupting the Baywatch Christmas show, so this better be important." Ross turned to him ."Oh it is, you shouldn't be here, you should be with your wife, and you shouldn't be lusting after them , you are married to my sister."

"Listen Ross, you know that I love Monica, and that is why I am here. I want to give her the family she wants. The only way I can do that is to keep this crummy job. Now get out of here, I feel like I am in some cheesy movie on the late show." He said in his alcohol induced haze.

"Well part of it is everything that you've drank." Ross stated. "Oh and you can handle your alcohol ." Chandler argued with the figment of his imagination. "Yes I can." He said matter of factly. Chandler turned to him. "Did you learn that before you got married or after the birth of your illegitimate child?" Ross got that angry look. "Chandler Bing, you need to change your ways. You will be visited by…"

"I know three ghosts. I have read Dickens and also I have seen a million versions of a Christmas Carol. So why don't you go back to New York or my imagination and let me enjoy Jasmine in peace." Chandler ranted. In an instant , Ross disappeared.

The clock struck midnight. Chandler had passed out and fallen asleep. Suddenly there was a bright light in the hotel room. He got up and couldn't believe his eyes.

"Phoebe?"


	2. The Ghost of Christmas Past

There was a light glowing around Phoebe Buffay. She was wearing a silver silky gown and her blonde hair was piled up onto her head. It was secured in place by a jeweled crown.

"This must be one hell of a dream." Chandler said. "First Ross, now you." "I am not Phoebe, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past." Chandler held his head and bent it foreward. "No ! No ! No! You are a figment of my imagination. " Phoebe took his chin in her hands. "Now look Bing. We don't have time for this. I only have a limited amount of time and then I have to wander over to the Will and Grace Christmas special. I have to show Karen the true meaning of Christmas. So haul it in gear." Chandler shrugged his shoulders and followed the ghost.

Suddenly they were in the middle of a drag club in New York. The colored lights danced around as a bunch of gay men and drag queens danced to a dance version of Wham's Last Christmas.

"Do you recognize this place?" Phoebe asked. "Of course , I do. It's the drag club my father started at before he moved to Vegas." On a stool by the bar, a young kid was sipping on a glass of soda. He had sandy brown hair and blue eyes. "Boy you were a cute kid." Smiled Phoebe. "But weren't you kind of young for a place like this? " Chandler sighed . "That was the point. My father and mother were sharing custody and it was my father's turn. He brought me to this club a lot as a kid." A large woman wearing a red beaded gown and a red boa walked over and started talking to the little boy. "Are you having fun yet Chandler.?" She asked. "Yeah I guess, Daddy." Another of the drag queens came over. "Isn't he a cute little boy?" she said as she stroked Chandler's young face. "Helena he is just so adorable." The drag queen said as he smiled.

"This was where I spent a lot of my time when I was a kid. I guess I do have some happy memories. The other drag queens were always nice to me. But why is me and a bunch of queens so important to this story." Phoebe smiled and then said. "Even when you were a little boy, you were happy at this time of year. " "Until my dad left one Christmas eve, thanksgiving may have been the day my parents announced their divorce, but Christmas was when my dad left." Phoebe wiped a tear from her own eye as she remembered the death of her own mother. "Enough here, we have another place in your past to visit." She lifted her gown and they left the small bar.

"Nice touch." Chandler nodded. Before long, they were in the living room of a house. Chandler recognized it immediately. "This is the Geller living room. It must be back in the eighties or something."

Phoebe laughed. "This was where you spent your happiest holidays. You never knew that the little girl who was nice to you would be the woman you loved someday. " Chandler smiled as he thought of Monica.

The scene was quite different. Jack Geller had dark brown hair and Judy had her teased. They were laughing and drinking egg nog. Jack had made a special batch of his famous concoction. They had even let their kids have some. Of course, both of them were drunk and trying to take advantage of the mistletoe.

"Oh come on Chandler. I'm under the mistletoe so now you have got to kiss me. "Chandler had his flock of seagulls hairdo and he was being chased around the living room by fat Monica. She wore a red sweater with a santa on it. "It's Christmas ." she sang. Chandler ducked behind a chair. "But you're Jewish." He corrected her. "Half Jewish."she smiled. "So you still have to kiss me."

"That is so sweet that she had feelings for you even then . It just proves that you do need to be back in New York. She has loved you for a long time." Phoebe said. "And look who else had feelings way back then."

Chandler saw Rachel before she had her nose job. She had her hair in a pony tail as she tripped on her high heels. She was being chased as well.

"Get away from me you loser." She squealed. Chandler started to laugh as Ross had his hair permed and he was obviously very drunk.

"Aw Rach, I love you, let me show you how much." He slurred as he tripped over the chair in the living room "In your dreams, dino geek." Rachel ran around the chair in her high heels and Ross followed her clutching a cup of his father's egg nog.

"Well I knew he liked her. I mean he used to go on and on about how she was so beautiful. And she was the perfect woman. But man, I didn't know Mon liked me. I mean she cut off my toe." Chandler admitted.

"She cut off your toe by accident , and she was very hurt when you called her fat the Thanksgiving before. Monica thought you were cute and funny, long before you liked her." Phoebe explained.

Monica started to run toward Chandler and then she tackled him. Suddenly Chandler saw his younger self under a wall of flesh . She tumbled on top of him and then kissed his face over and over again. Ross looked over and to him , it looked like Chandler was doing the attacking . He fell onto the floor and then tried to run over to them. "Chandler, have you lost your mind? Get off her, she's still in high school and she is my sister." Ross pulled him off of Monica. "Dude, she attacked me." Chandler said. Rachel walked over to where Ross was and slapped his face. "Jerk." She announced. "Monica, your brother is a pervert." Judy walked over to see what was going on next. "Kids, now , " she picked up Monica's glass and smelled it. "Jack, you gave our teenage daughter alcohol and you probably gave it to our son too." She yelled.

Jack was leaning on the punch bowl and feeling no pain. He started to take another drink. Obviously he was ignoring his wife. "Honey, it's Christmas and Ross is an adult. He is a college man now. There is nothing wrong with a little drink for a man. " Judy came over and stood in front of him. "There is something wrong with him attacking Monica's friend. " "Why she's hot." Jack smiled. "But she isn't as hot as you. "he smiled as he took his wife in his arms. Jack began to make out with Judy. "Ohh Jack, not in front of the kids." She cooed.

Chandler covered his eyes. "You brought me back here to see this! I don't want to see my mother and father in law make out. It's weird."he whined.

Phoebe put up her arms. "Have you seen enough now? " she asked. "I think I have seen enough to last a lifetime. I am ready to go back to New York right now." He said.

"You can't . There are still two other spirits that are supposed to come. I mean they have cleared their schedules and they have been planning this for weeks." Phoebe said. "And one of them is due very soon. We have to get back to Tulsa." Phoebe held Chandler's hand and before he knew it., he was back in the bed.

Chandler walked over and turned on the television. "Oh look , The Whole Ten Yards is on. I love the guy who plays the dentist. " He got a beer from the mini bar and got comfortable. He wondered when the next spirit would appear. Before long , the clock struck one and then the room lit up again.

The next spirit appeared.

Hey everyone…hope you are enjoying my Mondler Christmas story. I know I usually write Ross and Rach but this year decided to write a bunch of them… a Joey one, a Will and Grace , and definitely a Ross and Rachel one. So keep reviewing and enjoying…and to Mondler love

It is Chandler because it is the year they are in Tulsa… and this is the reason he comes home…


	3. Christmas Presentoh my gawd

"Chandler Bing!" the spirit said as she opened her mouth. She came out of the shadows. "OH MY GAWD!" It was very obvious to him who it was . "Janice, what are you doing here in my room?" He said as he fell off of his chair. "This isn't a dream anymore. It's a nightmare." Chandler said as he got up off the floor. "I am not Janice. I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. It is my job to show you that you belong with your wife and friends back in New York." He turned away and said to himself. "Geller, when I do get home , I will make your life a living hell for this."

Chandler couldn't take this. He ran to the phone and started dialing. "See you are not needed. I am calling the airport and going home. You don't have to stay because your job is done." Janice picked up the phone and hung it up. "No you have to be convinced." She said sternly.

Before he turned around, him and Janice were standing outside on the balcony of his apartment in New York, "It's cold, why aren't we inside? " he whined. "Don't rush me Chandler." Inside the window was a big Christmas tree and a big dinner. Sitting on the couch was Phoebe as she played a song on her guitar.

On the first day of Christmas my mother gave to me her dead body

On the second day of Christmas Gunther gave to me, two cups of coffee

On the third day of Christmas , Ross gave to me , his three divorces

On the fourth day of Christmas, Joey gave to me, four girls he slept with and never called.

On the fifth day of Christmas , Santa gave to me , my five friends.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my evil sister gave to me, six porno movies.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Chandler gave me to , seven bad jokes.

On the eighth day of Christmas , Monica gave to me, eight dishes with too much garlic

On the ninth day of Christmas, Rachel gave to me, reasons why she isn't with Ross.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Emma gave to me, ten dirty diapers.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Ben gave to me , eleven lesbians.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my brother gave to me, twelve of his sperm.

"Phoebe that is the most depressing song you've written since the snowman song about you building the snowman the day that your mother committed suicide." Rachel said. At that moment, Emma started to cry. "Aww Emma wemma. Mommy 's here. Mommy's here." Rachel said as she swung her back and forth. "I like big butts, and I cannot lie." She started to sing.

"It's no wonder we're depressed. Chandler's not here." Ross said. "I mean it' s Emma's first Christmas and she is crying.

"Shouldn't they be happy. ? I mean they have this perfect little baby and they both have good jobs and are living together." Chandler said. Janice answered. "Rachel is scared that she will get hurt or cheated on again and Ross is afraid that he will lose her for good. They are far from happy.

Joey was on the floor playing with Ben and a radio controlled. He had a smile on his face. "He looks happy. Ah sweet , naïve Joey." He smiled. "Joey is depressed as well. He wanted to have you there because you are a brother to him. It can be hard at the holidays when someone has no one to be with . You have Monica and Ross has Rachel , but Joey doesn't have anyone."

"Joey could have any woman in the tri state area." Chandler said. "He chooses to sleep around."

"He also misses you since you had to go to Tulsa all the time." Janice said.

"It looks like everyone is depressed. This is all because of me? I never realized what an impact I had on all their lives." Chandler said surprised.

"You are the brother they never had or the one that cheers them up with they are down. Your jokes are part of you, just as much as Phoebe's songs are part of her, or Monica's obsessivness, or Ross' dinosaur stories." Janice explained. "But of course, one is very , very depressed.

Chandler saw in the corner, Monica sitting by herself. She stared out the window and watched the snow fall. A teardrop fell as well. Monica picked their wedding picture and looked at it. She went back in her mind…. a song plays in her memory…

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.  
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.  
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"  
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

two people who are very much in love are seen dancing together. They cuddle and move slowly to the music. Ahead of them is a new beginning and a lifetime of tomorrows. Chandler hears the music also.

"I'm doing this for us , Monica. This is for our future." He says with a tear in his eye. " He stopped crying. "She can't see the big picture."

Janice said. "All she sees is her husband that is never there. And now he won't be there for New Year's and he isn't there on Christmas Day. Monica got up from the window seat, Wiping her eyes. "I even ordered this months ago. I got his favorite dessert cheesecake.." Monica sighed.

"From Mama's Little Bakery?" exclaimed Rachel.

'Yeah , I was going to make cheesecake, but then I remembered how much he liked it. And now he won't even be here."

"There's only one piece left. I should save it for him. " Monica said as she took the cheesecake box. ''

"Aw he won't be back for a few days." Joey said as he stuck his fork into the cake.

"Janice or Spirit, I don't want to see anymore. That human garbage disposal is going to eat my cheesecake." Chandler cried.

"Well you have one more spirit to see. " Janice lifted her arms and her robe spread like a pair of wings. "Merry Christmas Chandler Bing…heh heh heh!" then she dissappeared.

"Hello, I need a flight to New… what snowed in? " Chandler said. "You don't understand , I have to get home for Christmas. " he begged. "Not until the day after tomorrow. Chandler hung up the phone sadly.

I'll have a blue christmas without you

I'll be so blue thinking about you

Decorations of red on a green christmas tree

Won't mean a thing if youre not here with me

I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain

And when that blue heartache starts hurtin

You'll be doing all right with your Christmas of white

But I'll have a blue Christmas without you.

He looked at the clock, it was midnight . The snow was blowing. He pulled back the curtain. "Merry Christmas Monica ." he said lovingly.

Monica was alone now. Joey and Phoebe were going to do something and Ross and Rachel had presents to get ready for Emma's first Christmas. She went out on the balcony with one of his sweater vests wrapped around her. That way she could feel close to him.

"Merry Christmas Chandler." She sighed.

At that moment , another flash of light came to his room. Before he knew it another spirit had come.

"Spirit of Christmas Yet to be , I fear you worse than the other two." Chandler said as he saw the last ghost.

The two songs I used were Eric Clapton 's Wonderful Tonight and Blue Christmas… glad you are enjoying my Christmas friends tales… please keep the nice comments coming … and to our Jewish friends. Happy Hanukkah….


	4. The Ghost of Christmas yet to be

Chandler stood in fear as the last ghost entered. He was a very familiar person to him.

"Hello Chandler. " the masculine voice said.

"Hello you big tree." Chandler snidely said. "I suppose you are here to show me what my life is going to be like if I don't quit this job. I suppose you will take my wife away from me."

"I am here to show you what could happen. It isn't necessarily what will happen but might." The ghost said. The ghost was very tall and had a dark brown mustache with hair with gray throughout it. In earthly form, he resembled a double of Dr. Richard Burke, the former love of Monica's life, who he had been very jealous of.

Chandler took another drink. "Well as long as my flight is cancelled." He said putting the glass down. "Okay spirit, let's fly." The spirit took him to a graveyard. "Cliché , very cliché." He snidely said. "Don't you have anything more original than this. I don't want to see a headstone that reads Chandler Bing…he thought he was funny." And then to have Monica and everyone talking about how rotten I was and having Phoebe steal my bed curtains ."

"How about this then?" Richard took him back to New York. He was sitting in a brown , tattered leather recliner. His usually combed hair was unkempt and stood up. He was in a tattered blue flannel robe and eating peanut clusters. Dirty sweatpants covered his legs.

"Who is this poor pathetic guy?" asked Chandler scared. "Why it's you." The spirit simply replied. Chandler noticed another thing as he watched the man. There were about twenty snakes crawling about on the floor. There were at least ten more in cages with sad pieces of tinsel hanging off their cages.

"Why are there snakes all over the place?" he asked terrified of the answer. "You once said that you would end up alone, and if you did then you would have about twenty snakes as pets, and the kids would stay away from you and they would say run , run from crazy snake man." The spirit answered.

"Am I alone?" he said softly.

"Monica was tired of having a husband in Tulsa all the time, so she divorced you, and no she did not marry me…before you say it. She actually was introduced to a nice professor by Ross and they got married. Ross and Rachel finally did get together after she was offered a job in Paris and he ran to the airport to tell her his feelings. Phoebe became a big draw on the folk music circuit and then won a Grammy for her cd Smelly Cat and Other Tales of the City… Joey went to Hollywood became a star of action movies and then met a hot little blonde and married her."

"You know I remember standing in Mr. Heckles apartment after he died and saying these things. I remember thinking how I was going to die alone, and it looks like it is going to happen." He sighed sadly. Then Chandler started to cry and yell loudly. "It isn't supposed to be like this, it's supposed to be you tell me how miserable everyone is going to be with out me, not how their lives are going to be better because I am not around."

"I told you before Chandler, it doesn't have to be this way. All you have to do is go back to New York." The spirit said. "These people and that woman are more important than any job. Besides is this really what you want to do for the rest of your life?"

"No I was only supposed to do this as a summer job. If it wasn't for the money, I would have quit long ago. I hate leaving Monica and I miss my friends." Chandler admitted. "You're right, I don't want to end up alone." He dialed the cell phone and smiled at the spirit. "Hello Doug, it's Bing, Listen I have been meaning to do this for a long time. This job isn't me and I am sorry, but I quit."

The spirit 's mustache curled into a smile. "Merry Christmas Chandler and take care of Monica, I'm sure you will now." He vanished.

Chandler still had the phone in his hand. He was so sure it wasn't Christmas anymore. He was so sure he had missed it until he saw a housekeeper in the hall. She was a lovely Mexican girl. "Excuse me, could you tell me what day this is?"" Chandler said hoping to hear the answer like in the movie.

"Senor, it is Christmas. I must get done so I can get to my family." She said as she pushed the cart. Chandler took out his billfold and handed her a twenty. "Gracias senor, Feliz Navidad." She smiled and walked away.

"And I am out of a job." He dialed the phone. "Yes when is your next flight to New York?" Book it , the name Bing , number 7888453424 on American Express. One hour. I am on my way. Merry Christmas." He said as he grabbed his suitcase. He looked at the envelopes on the table that were supposed to the Christmas bonuses. They were all charitable donations to the various places in New York. A couple he did notice. One was to the salvation army … that would be for Phoebe in honor of her friends that were homeless. One was to the Museum of Natural History… that would be for Ross because that was where he used to work and it would be a cause close to his heart….The Actors Fund was for Joey …and all the unemployed actors this Christmas… Didn't goodwill sell old clothes… Rachel and finally the soup kitchen would be for Monica . The rest of them would be tossed out because surely these people deserve more than donations to a city far away from them.

The snow fell on the balcony as the five friends gathered around the Christmas tree. Plates of cookies and Monica's special candy were scattered around the apartment. The place despite it's holiday decorations, just didn't seem like Christmas.

On the door hung eight stockings…. One for everyone including the newest little friend Emma and Ross' son Ben… There was a huge Christmas tree covered with ornaments. All of the ornaments had special meanings. There was a heart that said Monica and Chandler Christmas 2001. Next to it was a model of Big Ben and a chef's hat and a tiny computer. The sweetest one was a little pony that said Baby's first Christmas. That was for Emma. Each of the friends had an ornament as well. There was a musical note and the masks of comedy and tragedy and then there was a little shopping bag and a dinosaur. Monica had just decided that she would make the best of it, despite Chandler not being there.

Monica stood by the window. Her brother saw her standing there with tears in her eyes. And just like he had done so many times before , he gave her a big hug and let her lay her head on his shoulder. He just softly said "I know , Mon." Monica looked out into the gray wintery sky and wondered what her husband was doing right now.

The next minute , someone burst through the door. Monica ran happily and hoping upon hope. It couldn't have been , but it was. Chandler Bing was smiling and holding a suitcase. Rachel picked up Emma , Phoebe , Joey , and Ross also couldn't believe it.

"My wish came true ." screamed Joey. "My bud is back."

Monica was still confused. "I thought you had to work. " she said puzzled, but glad.

"Well I did, but I did something earlier today." He said as he put down his briefcase. "I quit." He said simply. "I don't need to work for a company that makes you work on Christmas.." he turned to Joey and said . "Oh and Joey, you owe me a piece of cheesecake." Joey was puzzled by this comment.

"But I thought you said , if we wanted a family , you had to work and keep this job." Monica said as she sat on the couch. "I thought that. But then I realized something. I was never home and I never got to sleep with my wife . My beautiful , sexy wife who I just married . If what I am doing this for keeps me away from you, than I don't want it and I can always get another job. It isn't what I wanted to do anyway." Chandler took Monica in his arms and began to kiss her passionately.

"Yay . " screamed Phoebe as she ran to embrace him.

"Yeah baby." Screamed Joey." As he watched Chandler back away to hug Phoebe.

"Eww do you realize that is still my sister." Ross scorned.

Rachel sat Emma in her chair and tiptoed over with a sprig of mistletoe."Ah if you can't beat em, join em Geller." She started to give Ross a friendly kiss , which with in a few seconds started to turn very passionate. Ross grabbed her butt and she wrapped her arms around his neck and then they started to moan a little .

"Hey mommy and daddy , get a room." Yelled Chandler.

Ross looked into Rachel's eyes and both of them were a little embarrassed by their display . Maybe it wasn't over and maybe that Christmas night after Emma was tucked away, they would have to have a little talk.

Phoebe started playing her guitar happily…

Went to the store sat on santa's lap

Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap

He said all you need is to write them a song

They haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along

No don't sing along….

Everyone joined in the song because they had heard it…

Monica sang…" Monica Monica have a happy Hanukkah."

In his baritone voice. Ross sang. "Saw Santa Claus , he said hello to Ross."

Joey used his tenor to sing. "And please for Joey, Christmas will be snowy."

Chandler and Rachel linked arms and leaned in together. "And Chandler and Rachel.. .

Phoebe sang will have the merriest of christmasses because Chandler will be home with Monica and Rachel is with her lobster….

Chandler smiled and turned again to Monica …" Merry Christmas Monica ." he kissed her on the cheek and put his arm around her.

Ross put his arm around Rachel . "Merry Christmas Rach." And then he did the same thing . Rachel had hope this Christmas.

"And God Bless us Everyone." Smiled Joey… Phoebe dropped her guitar and gave him a big kiss. "Merry Christmas Big Daddy." She smiled and then Joey put his arm around her and gave his famous line. "How You Doin?"

and on behalf of little of me I want to wish everyone the merriest of holidays and to Dr Kerry Weaver who wanted me to finish this I have a surprise for you… he has sandy hair and is about six foot and his middle name is Langford and he is from Canada…merry Christmas …now if someone could deliver a six foot two brown eyed Jewish actor who does have a second home in Chicago… or if not him a certain Croatian actor with that killer accent.


End file.
